


Love in the times of war

by Bellatrix_Winchester (Keterina_Porpentina_Albus_Everdeen)



Series: Sastiel through my eyes [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Queer Castiel (Supernatural), Queer Sam Winchester, Sastiel Creations Challenge, Sastiel angst, Sastiel rights, Soldier AU, World War I, sastiel fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-08
Updated: 2019-08-08
Packaged: 2020-08-13 01:22:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20165794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Keterina_Porpentina_Albus_Everdeen/pseuds/Bellatrix_Winchester
Summary: World War I.In times of death, bloodshed and dark times, homosexuality was a criminal offence.Two soldiers, Sam Winchester and Castiel Novak found each other in the most unusual times, before one of them left the Earth, leaving the other with a pain that'd last long and a love that'd be a secret forever.





	Love in the times of war

**Author's Note:**

> I really hope that you'd all like this unusual AU.  
Comments make my day!

**~1915~**

Castiel was a baker in a small village of Canada. The news of him being sent to battle didn't come as much of a shock to his parents. Mr. and Mrs. Novak sadly but proudly sent their son to enlist in the Great War. Luckily however, he wasn't injured in the first or second mission. Things looked hopeful when he came back with a few scars and nothing else, fit to work in the bakery again.

Sam and Dean Winchester weren't that lucky. Just like their father John, Sam and Dean were sent to Bulgaria as officers. They led successful troopers, but Dean Winchester didn't make it home alive.

It almost killed Sam, only not physically.

**~1916~**

Sam was sitting on his bunk bed in his uniform. Beside the crowded table full of stuff that belonged to different soldiers, stood a picture of Dean Winchester, his brother.

He loved his brother more than anything in the world. Now his world is dark. The only thing that kept him going was winning the war and going home. An empty home is still a home.

Someone came in to announce, "Alert ladies. New doughboy incoming."

Sam heard people chuckle at the prospect, war makes people cold. Whoever this new person was, had to fill in late, crushing the hopes and dreams of his family to be spared.

When his eyes laid on the blue eyed man, his heart stopped.

He thought was over this, trying to convince himself that he liked women. Jessica even confessed her feelings to him, Sam still couldn't feel any attraction to her, seeing her in a bright red dress. She looked beautiful, but not like this man.

This man, Castiel Novak, his brown hair flew into his face a little when he removed his khaki hat. His blue eyes were sad and there was mud all around his beautiful face.

His beauty was angelic, so to speak. Like a sad fallen angel, who came down to earth to fight its wars.

Sam almost laughed at his own foolishness. This wasn't a place for poetry, this was a place filled with blood, death and despair.

Looking at Castiel, Sam found almost forget that horror for a moment. Almost.

* * *

**~1917~**

Soldiers were gathered around a fire, talking about their times in other countries. As usual, Sam was asked about Bulgaria.

"Were the pubs as exotic as they say?" An eager 20 year old asks.

Sam shakes his head in laughter, " You won't let that one go, will you lad?

Castiel intently looked at Sam with his ocean eyes and asks in his low, gruff voice, "Go on. Humour the boy."

Sam tries hard not to let his attraction show, as a result he ends up quietly doing whatever Castiel asks him to do. Nobody questions it, because Sam never treats Cas any differently than others, not upfront anyway.

Only Cas himself knows about the secret favours, how Sam saves his own soup for Castiel when he got sick, how Sam never tells Cas who the hell got him new bedsheets out of the blue after he spilled some tea. Especially during missions, Sam subtly guards Cas with his own body, as if his life wasn't as important to him as Cas's life.

Sam stole a quick glance at Cas and started saying the story of Bulgaria, "I was in a pub with a few of my mates when this British lady comes to me and goes, "oh sweet heavens William, you're alright!" She was this old woman, like, in her 40s. Gorgeous though, and she tries to hug me. I got away and then someone told me that every single soldier is her William. No! She ain't a hooker. Good God no. Poor woman lost her memory, she got injured in the war man!"

* * *

It was Christmas, a white one at that. Castiel, Sam and the rest were in France at the time, serving actively now that USA had declared open war against Germany, much unlike the subtle support they showed in the past couple of years.

Sam was wearing regular clothes, ready to go into the city of Paris for some shopping. The conditions looked a bit better, so the doughboys were allowed to walk among the commoners, posing as tourists. They weren't to talk too much or interact with any suspicious person.

Castiel entered the bunker Sam shared with a few other guys. 

"Hello Sam." Cas smiled.

Sam looked down for a second and then back up, "Good day sir."

Cas shook his head, "Ah none of that now. Call me Cas, it's a holiday. Are you going to the city?"

Sam nodded, his heart racing at the idea of calling him 'Cas'. In his nervousness, he licked his lips and removed his long hair away from his face.

When he looked at Castiel again, he was staring. Staring at Sam, hungrily.

"Uhm, so, what about you?" Sam asked, clearing his throat.

Castiel answered with his very attractive gruff voice, " I was hoping that I could accompany you, if you'd like."

His gaze was intense and Sam was having trouble keeping his thoughts pure. His mind was where a gentleman's mind should never go to.

Sam said, "Of course. That'd be good."

Castiel opened the door and said "after you", so Sam quickly walked out, trying to control his sinful thoughts.

They walked together from shop to shop, trying every food and going to every stupid stall. Within an hour, Sam felt free as a bird. He was laughing with Castiel, enjoying himself and having the best time he's had in a very long time. 

He was scared to hell because of how happy Cas made him.

"I have many siblings, so I was wondering what to take for them that I could afford." Cas said.

Sam grinned, " I know just what you need."

Castiel sincerely replied, "Yes, you always do."

Sam stopped in his tracks.

"Cas..." 

"What were you suggesting?" Castiel quickly ignored having to talk about that remark and Sam went along with it. They ended up buying woolen socks and ponchos for Castiel's family.

"What about your family?" Cas asked.

Sam sighed and tried not to sound too sad, "My parents and brother are dead. It's just me now. I guess I could take something for the landlord, housemaid and our chauffeur. How about these woolen..."

Castiel stopped him, 'Sam. I'm very sorry. I didn't know about your family. Did your brother pass away in the war?"

Sam didn't look at him, " Yes. In Austria."

They shared a silence for some time before deciding to visit the museum.

The Louvre. Words cannot describe the beauty, history and sheer talent it holds. Sam was always a lover of art and sculpture. He was very pleased to notice that Castiel was equally at awe when they stood in front of thousand year old paintings.

It was quite crowded. There must be 50 people in sight only. After the tour was over, they found a quiet place to talk about everything their guide told them.

Castiel said, "For me, Leonardo Da Vinci would have to be the most talented of them all. I mean, the work he has done with human anatomy ...."

Sam nodded, " Agreed. One can't however, ignore the sheer brilliance of Michael Angelo. To use the roof of a church to paint, my word!"

Castiel smiled and his expression remained one of awe. He looked at Sam the same way he looked at the "Virgin of the rocks", as if he was the most beautiful creation on Earth.

Sam stopped talking when he noticed intense eyes on him, "What is it?"

Cas simply said, "Beauty."

Sam blushed, " Well, more artistic work than beauty, in terms of beauty I'd give it to Vincent Van Gogh to be honest...."

"Sam..", Castiel put his hands on Sam's knee. "I was talking about you." He sincerely said.

Sam knew that. Of course he knew. He'd be lying if he said that he wasn't 'anticipating' this, a confession of affection. 'Dreading' would also be an appropriate word.

Sighing, Sam resigned, "You know what they'd say Cas..."

Castiel looked sad, " Don't you care about my feelings at all then? What they'd say is the only thing you'd give importance to?"

Sam placed his hand over Castiel's hand, " Don't say that. You know how much care about you. They'd turn against us, remove us from our post, property, even home."

Castiel sadly smiled, " You've thought far about us then. I like that thought, 'us'. Are we, 'us' then?"

Sam didn't say anything. He closed their distance in response and crushed his lips onto Castiel's. Their eyes closed and all else was forgotten.

Cas breathed in the scent of Sam, taking his time to memorize his lips, the taste of his tongue. Sam placed his hands on Cas's hips and pulled him onto his lap, unable to stand any distance anymore. 

Cas was on Sam's lap, his arms around Sam's broad shoulders, eyes closed and breath heavy. Sam played with the collar of Cas's trenchcoat, at the same time entering his mouth with his tongue. Sam's breath hitched at the heat of their touch, skin burning wherever Castiel kissed.

When Cas used teeth to softly bite the flesh of Sam's neck, he threw his head back and moaned softly.

"Shh, shh. Can't let them hear us, _lover_." Castiel shushed Sam with his kiss again, claiming his lips hungrily and pulling him flush against his chest. Cheeks reddening and necks bruising with kisses, soon they realized that they'd have to be back.

Castiel got up from Sam's lap, which he felt rather agonizingly. Sam missed his warm body already, still trying to memorize Castiel's scent, his eyes,the way his chest heaves, the way his hair gets messed up because Sam loves to play with his hair.

Castiel also messed up Sam's beautiful hair, their lips look suspiciously red and they just took each other in for a moment. The sight of what they do to each other, carved in their minds.

Until the cylinder fell.

* * *

"It was chlorine. That's not too poisonous, you'll be fine. Right? " Sam said with teary eyes, falling to Castiel's side. He had guarded Sam with his body, blocking the gas from hurting him much.

While Sam only had a little blistering, Castiel was in and out of consciousness. His eyes hurt and he couldn't breathe. Sam was on the verge of tears, seeing him like this.

"I should've brought you back safely. If we got back from the shop itself, you'd be okay..." Sam was crying and holding Castiel in his arms.

"Don't be silly. I wanted to kiss you. Needed to know what you tasted like. No regrets." Castiel laughed and coughed painfully.

When Cas fainted, Sam carried him back to the bunk. Nobody thought much of it since Cas was injured and nobody told Sam off when he wanted to personally take care of Castiel.

"Poor lady probably feels guilty for not getting hurt himself." Someone whispered.

" How'd he get spared though?" Someone else asked.

" He was too tall for the gas to reach him", another replied.

* * *

**~1918~**

Sam didn't leave Castiel's side a day when he was recovering. So nobody objected when Castiel insisted on doing the same for Sam.

Sam had the Spanish influenza.

Castiel nursed Sam, fed him, told him stories. And when nobody would be around to see, Cas would kiss him goodnight.

Sam coughed and managed to say, "Othello was a fool."

Cas laughed and wiped his tears. It seemed hard to get any hopes for Sam's survival and it surprised nobody when Sam was declared to be 'dead within a week'.

Sam reached out, "what did we say about crying?" He wiped Castiel's cheek and held his face.

"It doesn't help." Cas replied, sniffling.

Sam nodded and coughed some more.

Castiel took Sam's hand and kissed his knuckle, "I suppose, if this is the only chance I've got at saying it, you should know, Sam Winchester, that I -"

" Officer Novak!" Someone saluted.

Castiel immediately let go of Sam's hand and stood up.

He reported for duty with things left unsaid.

On 25th December, there was no snow to be seen anywhere. Sam was lying in his deathbed, waiting for Castiel to return. He knew what he was going to say, but he needed to hear it from his lips.

Other officers had regretfully declined Castiel's request to tend to Sam, as he was beyond repair now. By the time all of the soldiers came back, the room was crowded.

Castiel couldn't even hold Sam's hand. They just started at each other and their eyes spoke volumes.

_

They had ten minutes the next day, before Cas had to report.

"What were you going to say yesterday, sweetheart?" Sam asked.

Castiel leaned in to kiss Sam on the forehead, "You already know."

"Please Cas, I might not be here when you get back. I need to hear it..." Sam pleaded.

" Don't say that! Please. Not yet." Cas wiped his eyes and left.

When they came back, Sam was gone forever. His beautiful hair flew with the wind and his sould was resting in peace with his brother Dean.

Castiel didn't care about anyone anymore as he kneeled down beside Sam and cried.

Nobody said anything, it was well known that Castiel and Sam were like brothers.

* * *

Cas opened his box full of letter to find a note folded inside. It said -

_Dear angel of mine,_

_You have changed my life in ways that I never imagined. You taught me how to laugh again, how to be breathe freely and share moments of tranquility._

_I wanted to go home after the war ended, with you. I wanted to ask you to come with me, hoped that you'd say yes. See, home isn't anything without the people in it and now, it felt like you were my only home. Would you do me the honours of living in my old family house? In case you ever need to get away._

_With you, I found happiness in the darkest of times, for you taught me how to turn on the light of love. Don't shade a tear for me my love, and if you do, I wouldn't be around you scold you. Smile now, be free of this sorrow that you insist on surrounding yourself with. Free your soul the way you freed me._

_I will love you forever._

_The devil you loved._

Cas realized that he could never tell Sam that he loved him too, forever.


End file.
